Retalious Stupidus
by CanaanAlphardForever
Summary: [37] Ymir is a writer and more than anything she hates stupid reviews from cowards and idiots. Krista thinks she's sexy when she's furious. AU. Smut. Heavy swearing. Futa-Kristaxfuta-Ymir. One-shot. (In which I use Ymir's personality to vent. I am now satisfied)


"What the shit…" Ymir lifted her hands and tugged painfully at her messy brown locks. "WHAT THE HELL YOU IDIOTS!" She ground her teeth together in absolute fury, her nostrils flaring and heart beating hard with anger.

The brunette was seated at her computer desk, scrolling through her usual sites and such. As it always was, the internet was infested with the idiocy and stupid that just seemed to stem from nowhere. Did a stupid bird exist somewhere that just laid a shit load of idiot eggs? Ymir was convinced that the fucking bird was to blame! How else could humanity be so stupid? They had to have been born- _hatched_ that way.

Ymir growled furiously and her hands twitched over the keyboard. Opinions were fine, Ymir was fine with them, but _not_ when they were stupid opinions that made no sense. What made her even more furious is that she had no way to fucking respond to them.

"Fucking guests!" she yelled into the cold air of her room. Despite the temperature she was actually only in her boxers. _Only_ her boxers. Krista was still fast asleep in their bed, naked from last night's adventures, though she would probably wake up after Ymir's yelling and cussing.

"Ymir?" Krista had in fact woken. She approached Ymir and pressed against her back, leaning over her to see what her wife was so angry about. When she read what had upset Ymir she sighed softly and then turned to nuzzle Ymir below her ear.

"Love, don't listen to them. Their opinions stem from small minds."

"More like small penises," Ymir muttered. "I mean, come on Krista! I write this shit for them and they give me this shit back!" Ymir's hands were still twitching against her keyboard. She was definitely going to leave a hell of a long author's note on her next story to yell and swear at the idiots that had reviewed her latest story.

"Ymir, they won't get it. Getting you upset is what they want. Simply show them you won't listen by doing the opposite of what they demand."

"Oh you can bet I fucking will!" Ymir fumed.

Ymir, to most people's surprise, was a writer. She had been since she was old enough to pick a pen and paper up. As the technology and internet age happened Ymir discovered the many websites where she could actually post her innermost ramblings. At first Ymir had been curious, but then when people started to actually like the garbage she wrote she grew a heavy ego. She started to love and crave the praise they showered her with. Of course, with her popularity came the inevitable requests. People recognized her skill as a writer and therefore wanted stories from her. She was adamant at first, since she only wrote stories that she liked, but then she had gotten into the groove.

But her latest story had been something completely different, and the readers had reacted stupidly. Even though Ymir had left warning upon warning they had still read the damn story. And then they had left reviews expressing how it made them _uncomfortable_ and Ymir shouldn't write that kind of story anymore. _Why the fuck did they even read it then?_

"Boohoo, you fucking pussies." Ymir spat angrily and resisted the intense urge to delete every goddamn review and never write again.

"Ymir, look here." Krista leaned forward and pointed at the fifth review from the top. "This person really enjoyed your story. They actually gave constructive criticism. The other hateful reviews are only that, hateful. They want to victimize you so that you'll shy away from writing something like this again."

Ymir grinned evilly. "Just for that I'll only fucking write these stories until they get it in their heads and piss off!"

Krista sighed and ran a finger along Ymir's bottom lip. The action immediately quieted her down and her anger lessened some. "Ymir, don't write for these people, write for you. If you really want to only write these kinds of stories, then do it, but don't do it as some rash action of vengeance. Remember the other people that enjoy your stories and don't attack you for doing something unique."

Ymir's breaths calmed and the flaring of her nostrils stopped. Her ego didn't want her to agree, but her head had to. Krista was absolutely right, and that made Ymir angry for a different reason. Also, Ymir was now turned on.

Krista was absolutely naked on top of being annoyingly right. Her breasts were pressed against Ymir's bare shoulders and the effect it had on the brunette showed itself in the form of a very nice tent in her boxers.

Krista noticed, and when she did she grinned to herself and leaned even heavier into her lover. "Ymir~ Why don't you forget these awful people and come back to bed? It's cold."

Ymir swallowed thickly. Besides the breasts, with Krista's nipples already hardened to steel, Ymir could feel a different hardness poke her spine. It sent a sharp tingle through her body that made her concealed excitement throb harder.

"But… but I should reply to some of these reviews, the ones I can…" Even Ymir could hear how weak her protest was.

Krista lifted an eyebrow and then in an act of sexy dominance she yanked Ymir's head backwards by her hair and then crushed their lips together. Teeth and tongue grazed and battled and Ymir groaned deeply in her chest. Memories of last night flooded her already aroused mind and her body reacted almost instantly.

While still locked in an intense kiss, Ymir stood from her seat and carried her feisty lover over to their bed. Once close enough she titled forward and allowed them to fall onto the bed with Krista underneath her. Their kiss intensified and hands began to roam.

Krista trailed her fingers down the hard expanse of Ymir's stomach, ghosting over her soft breasts first. When she reached lower she growled unhappily at the clothing that met her fingertips, so she hurriedly ripped them off while they still kissed hungrily, and then she finally reached down and roughly grabbed Ymir's hard erection.

Ymir broke away from the kiss to press her face into the mattress and moan deeply. Krista's face was flushed, her breasts moved with each heave of her chest and she was wet as well as hard. Her own erection throbbed painfully, though hers was smaller than Ymir's.

The blonde held firmly and stroked Ymir until the brunette cursed loudly and jerked violently. Ymir came then, spraying all over Krista's stomach and messing them both. But Krista didn't stop there. She pushed her dazed lover over and then kissed her hard again. Ymir was weakened by her sudden orgasm. It hadn't been that powerful but it had been enough to turn her to jelly while she came down from the high.

Krista was aching badly. Her skin felt itchy and hot and she needed Ymir inside of her. Luckily the brunette was still very hard, so she lifted her body atop Ymir's and then she brought herself down and slid Ymir in all the way.

Ymir jerked again in surprise and grabbed at the pillow underneath her head. She panted loudly and cracked an eye open. Krista, her kind, shy and sweet Krista was acting like an animal, riding Ymir hard. The brunette wasn't even given a moment to rest and recover and she was already being induced with toe-curling pleasure. The sensation of Krista sliding along her hardness, so wet, tight and hot, made Ymir bite into her lip and moan at the taste of blood. Her hands twitched, much like they had earlier at her keyboard, and this time Ymir could act on her desire. She grabbed onto Krista's hips and rocked her harder.

This time it was the blonde's turn to jerk in surprise and tilt her head back to moan. Krista grabbed a hold of her breasts to stop them from bouncing and the sound of skin slapping against skin assaulted their ears. While in the process of moaning in ecstasy Ymir quickly spun them around and pressed Krista into the mattress. She grinned down at her blonde lover and interrupted her glare with a powerful thrust into her.

"Did seeing me so angry turn you on?" Ymir asked huskily. She was thrusting so hard that Krista had a hard time responding, so all she did in the end was nod and cover her mouth with a hand to muffle her screams.

Ymir wanted to hear them, though. She wanted to see Krista writhe in pleasure underneath her, in the bliss of sexual height. So she reached down between them and gripped Krista's penis between her long fingers. When she applied a firm stroke Krista broke loose and started to moan and yell Ymir's name.

Still rocking their hips together and stroking Krista's hard length, Ymir leaned down to latch onto a nipple. She closed her eyes and tried her best not to falter in her movements because of her own pleasure. A heat had started to coil in her stomach and Ymir could feel it in Krista as well.

Their moment of ultimate ecstasy happened simultaneously, and it hadn't taken all that long. Krista clenched down around Ymir and then arched up, bucking and thrusting herself harder against Ymir's palm. She exploded seconds later, messing Ymir much as the brunette had done to her. Ymir had come then too and when she had she slammed in one last time and then collapsed forward as she filled Krista with her hot essence.

Krista's legs had wound themselves around Ymir and they remained there as they both breathed and trembled. The cold air was chilling and refreshing over their hot skin. Sweat covered their entire bodies, and eventually Ymir calmed and recovered enough to tip over and then gather Krista against her chest. She was relieved that they had both grown soft.

If they went at it again she doubted that she would be able to walk much for the rest of the day.

"Ymir?" Krista spoke sleepily against the skin of Ymir's throat.

"Mm?"

"You are really attractive when you're upset. So please continue to write, for me?"

Ymir chuckled. "Does this mean you'll get horny every time I rant about stupid reviews?"

Krista managed to shrug. "I also really enjoy your stories too, especially that new one you wrote. It was different but really enjoyable."

Ymir kissed Krista's brow and sighed. "Sure thing, squirt. I'll never stop writing."

"Thank you."

"Though I might still get pissed off at the stupidity out there."

Krista giggled. "There's nothing you can do about that."

Ymir frowned. "I guess. Hey, don't sleep yet. We're fucking soaked. Let's shower first."

Ymir stood and Krista slumped against her chest and groaned. "Don't wanna. I can barely move."

So Ymir ended up having to carry her lover to the bathroom and instead of a shower she decided on a bath. Once inside the warm water and surrounded by bubbles and steam, both of them had taken a little nap.

Later that night Ymir was screaming at her computer screen again and Krista had glanced over at her with a little grin.

* * *

_*satisfied evil cackle* _


End file.
